December 27, 2008

Matt's World Tour, Kate's Tale.

Dear Reader/s, 

I don't know the protocol of this blog, so I'm just going to jump right in. You might be wondering why I allowed Matt to kidnap me and then allow him to post to his blog on my blackberry and not alert the police. 

Let me explain a few things about my, as it appears, previous life. As a young woman I signed up with the Dole campaign to fight the scourge that was leaving his feted stench in the Oval Office. I did not join the Bush campaign, because his great-grandmother (Flora Sheldon) and my great-grandmother (Ida Schuckmanfought over Sam Bush. While My great grandmother went on to bear a boy who would go on to become the Governor of California. Flora ancestored a President and a score of Governors, so our fuedn' wasn't over. 

This campaign cycle, it wouldn't do me much good to switch sides, so I got on the pre-Veep team to prep the vetting team. Those good-for-nothing-ram-scrambling Hittites wanted the base, I gave them base. Submitting Sarah's name to the team was only part of my plan. I wanted to take down the Republican party for good and that included a scandal.  What the RNC didn't expect was a full-out 150K shopping spree through Manhattan. 

Now that I am in, as far as I can tell, unknown location I will release the general narrative of my deeds. Of the clothes that I had picked out for Sarah $75,000 worth were manufactured by Bernard L. Madoff in the shape of a $500 worth of  'missing' but 'returnable' hosiery, bras, socks for the kids, and what not. Upon 'return,' I gave Madoff a 4,500 honorarium, pocketed the $70,000 cash and made for the border. 

I made for the wrong border, Canada has some fierce extradition. The RNC was breathing down my neck and the Feds wanted me for fraud when Matt abducted me. I should thank Matt sometime, latter.  I hope my charge lasts. 

Until Matt Forgets to Sign Out, 

Kate 'the Great.'


Anonymous said...

I just read all of them again, in reverse order. I have no idea where this is going, and yet I can't stop. I like this installment though. Hilarious.

the word they are making me verify is "geyinet". I find that hilarious as well.

Sean F said...

That anonymous comment is from me.

This time the word was "sespar"