November 23, 2009

Monday Bar Reivew: Harpers


Harper's Brew Pub
131 Albert St.
East Lansing, MI

Well it had to come. At some point I had to start reviewing the bars from my hometown, East Lansing. East Lansing is a lot like Brunswick, M.E., minus the strange ex-con townie element and the New York vacationer. So the only way the two are similar is the fact that there are people at times of the year who are not there at other points.

The people who are not of East Lansing are the denizens of MSU. Some of you call them the body student, some of you are them and I call you a mongoloid. That would be my assessment of the MSU student if I had taken my sample from Harpers.

Harper's a contradiction, its a claustrophobic cavern with lots of counter space and no place to stand. You walk in turn left and, you cant go that way. O.K. turn around go down by the bar to get a drink and curve-nope, too many chairs, your going to get hit in the gut by one of those steel backs. Your only choice is to go to the bar to wait for a hole to open up in the coverage. Why not order a beer? I'll tell you why not.

Remember how I said that Harpers was a contradiction? Now I'm going to tell you that it is also a brew pub. The beer tastes like they gave their interior designer a shot at brewing. They all are too light, too sweet,  spacious and dumb.

Initial Rating: 1.5 +.5 for being the place that everyone I know goes to with out asking me first but I go because I don't want to watch TV on a Friday night. +.3 for having $2 'You Call It' on  Monday and Tuesday.

Final Rating 
2.3

2 comments:

John said...

i like the ali g clip

C Maguire said...

After last night's debacle, albeit mostly my behavior, I think you should amend this review. This is especially pressing due to our overbearing and beer sassing waitress.