March 3, 2010

2009 Awkward Political Moment Award

2009 Awkward Political Moment Nominees

Dick Cheney’s Wheel Chair at the Inauguration: Oh yeah, we all believe he, “fell moving boxes,” and did not have another heart problem. Way to blow it GOP. You could have actually scored sympathy points for Dick Cheney.

Governor Rob Blagojevich on Celebrity Apprentice: First, ole’ Rob B. got himself impeached from the Governorship of Illinois. To be honest, that whole process was fairly impressive. He went out kicking, screaming, accusing, and refuting President Obama’s claims that he and the disgraced Governor weren’t close. Having his 15 minutes of fame, Blagojevich should have retired from the public eye with a sort of defiant dignity…or not! Blagojevich attempted to become the next celebrity apprentice to Donald Trump. Anymore, the jump from political scandal to reality television is not a far off. Still, Blagojevich deserves ridicule for being so self-absorbed as to jump into the cultural sewer that is reality TV.

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford goes, “en fuego” with Argentine: Almost an unfair race when you include a story like this. The undisputed facts in this case:

- Mark Sanford was the popular Republican Governor of South Carolina.

- Mark Sanford had a habit of hiking in the Appalachian wilderness as a way to relax.

- Mark Sanford disappeared for a few days and members of the media (plus government employees) begin to notice.

-M ark Sanford’s staff claimed he was somewhere on the Appalachian Trail with no cell phone.

- Media members familiar with Governor Sanford see him on a return flight from Buenos Aires. Yeah, he was in ARGEN-freaking-TINA!

- It was revealed that Gov. Sanford had a long-time Argentine mistress (a former model and TV reporter no less) whom he often traveled to see.

Now, if you never saw this coming neither did anybody else. Especially surprised was Sanford’s long-time wife…Awkward! The real fun was just getting started as questions arose about whether or not Sanford had appropriated state funds for this international affair. To date, Sanford still believes he can work it out with his wife and the State of South Carolina. Stories like this provide a us with a reminder that the truth is often stranger than fiction.

President Obama pisses off the Special Olympics and Las Vegas: The election of then Senator Obama was billed as a time for change. Instead, it became a familiar tale: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. In this case, it was President Obama and Mr. Prick. As polished as any public speaker in recent memory, it is all the more perplexing that the President states horribly un-P.C. things on a regular basis. Though it turns out he had been kind of a jerk for years, President Obama made a splash by referring to his low bowling score as a, “Special Olympics Score.” First, Special Olympics athletes are often exceptional bowlers with very high scores. Second, how much of an arrogant S.O.B do you have to be to think it is okay to say this as President of the United States? Conservative rants aside, the President next decided to frame the problems of America in the context of a city: Las Vegas. Las Vegas may be ‘Sin City’ and may be an example of financial excess. However, it is also a major American city with an expanding population (read voters). After insulting the city…twice…the Mayor of Las Vegas made it clear that he was very upset and made thinly veiled threats that security would not be provided for future Obama visits.

"The Kennedy Seat,” Goes to Scott Brown: Technically, this happened in 2010. Still, the possibility of this happening became apparent in 2009 and…okay I just want to gloat (not an actual nominee). In no Republican's wildest dreams would the following happen. Ted Kennedy passes away, a run-off election ensues and the Democrats lose his seat. Well, a little-known Massachusetts State Senator named Scott Brown had a dream and it came true. He also had really chiseled features and great abs, or so Cosmo thought when they did a skantily clad expose on him in June 1982. The blame game ensued. How did this happen in the bluest state in the Union? The truth seemed to be that the election served as a memorandum on several national issues. Still, it was entertaining to watch Scott Brown’s opponent, Martha Coakley, go from heir-apparent to punching bag for the Democrats. Did I mention Ted Kennedy held that Senate seat? Save two years, Kennedys had controlled that very seat since 19, “cowdah, pahty, Go Sox! Freakin” 53!!!

Winner: Toughest race of the year…Mark Sanford. No actual 2009 moment was ever going to overtake this one.

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