July 19, 2010

Really Short Bar Reviews

Because Matt is dragging his feet, I'll give a blurb version of the bar reviews on the Colin scale (5 stars max because I'm not so intellectually pretension as to use a 4.0 gradin' scale)

Wild Magnolias (Martinsville, Virginia): The Virginia equivalent of Flint, MI and you still find the brandy is too expensive and trashy guys in U of M sweatshirts. Is it a bad sign when your town crawl is located in a strip mall on the periphery of a real mall (and right next to a gym)? If drinking had a version of a "Bucket List," I suppose you would have to experience a place like this. Just remember that 80% of the people with you are not parenting their children at that moment and are, hence, repeating the vicious cycle. In all seriousness, just drink your fairly inexpensive beer and don't look the MMA dreamers in the eyes.

(1.25 out of 5)

Tavern of the Square "Revisited" (Lansing, Michigan): As a straight drinking establishment, it is hard to beat the selection. I have not seen Duvel on the beer list in a Michigan bar, until the other night at Tavern. The porch area and the loft offer intriguing social settings. The classy portraits are a plus; as is no cover. Still, can you really spend a long night there with the prices? Also, no music to speak of.

(3.75 out of 5)

The Firm (Lansing, Michigan): The name on the sign is not a reference to the clienteles' general waist line or their level of commitment to sexual decency. Still, you can have a good time here; just not inside with the incredibly loud music. The drinks can be really cheap and the conversations flowing. Big time hisses for a cover charge.

(3.0 out of 5)

Wild Beaver Saloon (Lansing, Michigan): Not as bad as you think it will be. There is lots to do and even more to oggle. The drink selection is fine and they even present a cheap "Beaver Brew" option (Busch Light on our night). It can get rowdy. Try not to do a double take when they serve you in a plastic cup as the night proceeds. Also, the music is pretty good. Still, the outfits on the girls are beyond garish and the hula-hoop contests are incredibly contrived. At least it's not Hooters where they train the waitresses to hit on you...and everyone knows it...so it's really awkward.

(3.25 out of 5)


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