December 9, 2010

Yes Alabama, There are BCS Computer Ranking Programs

Dear Awkward Haiku Sports Congress,

I am 28 years old. Some of my little bar friends say there are no Computer Programs. My bookie says, "if you keep loosing like this, anything you think is true." Please tell me the truth, are there formulas behind the BCS Computer Programs?
-Alabamer

Alabama, your little bar friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Alabama, whether they be honest men’s or drunk's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, Alabama, there are formulas. They exist as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no veiled mathematical formulas choosing the fate of 120 college football programs! It would be as dreary as if there were no Alabama's. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in the Massey Ratings! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your bookie to hire men to watch in all the bowls on New Year's eve to Paul Sagarin, but even if you did not see Peter Wolf's proofs, what would that prove? Nobody sees the proofs, but that is no sign that there is no BCS. The most real things in the world are those that neither bar buds nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
No Mathematical Proofs! Thank God! They live and live forever. A thousand years from now, Alabama, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, they will continue to make glad the heart of College Presidents.
(Adapted from Francis P. Church's famous editorial)

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